Mental Health. Happy then Sad.

Depression is a peculiar paradox of emotions, often blending moments of happiness and sadness into a confusing tapestry. There are fleeting moments when the heaviness lifts—when laughter bubbles up from an unexpected joke or a memory warms the heart. In these moments, it feels as though the storm has passed, leaving a fragile calm. You catch yourself smiling, and for a second, you believe that maybe, just maybe, things are turning around. But then, almost like an afterthought, the sadness creeps back in, reminding you that the light is only temporary.

Happiness in depression can feel bittersweet. It’s not the unbridled joy that others might experience; instead, it’s tinged with the awareness of its fleeting nature. Even in moments of peace, a voice whispers, “This won’t last.” You might savor a sunset, its vibrant hues painting the sky, but instead of feeling fulfilled, you’re left longing for the ability to truly embrace its beauty without the shadow of despair.

Sadness, on the other hand, is pervasive. It’s the constant background music of your mind, a melancholic tune that plays even during life’s happiest occasions. You can be surrounded by friends, laughter echoing around you, yet feel entirely alone. It’s a sadness that isn’t always linked to a reason, which makes it harder to explain or justify. You want to be present, to connect, but the weight of your emotions pulls you inward, isolating you from the world.

Living with this duality is exhausting. The moments of happiness feel undeserved, and the sadness feels endless. But within this struggle lies a quiet strength—a resilience born from navigating these conflicting emotions. Even if the joy is fleeting and the sadness persistent, surviving both is a testament to your will to keep going. It’s in this delicate balance that hope can sometimes be found, no matter how small or distant it seems.